ASAKUSA Underground > Confession of a Nanpa samurai
Why did I start Nanpa (romance-hunting)?
For what purpose do I smooth talk to a girl on the street?
To answer these, I have to tell you about my life a little. Up until I graduated from university, I had never made love to an ordinary girl, so to speak. My relationship to womanhood was limited in buying girls in "body" shops. I felt ashamed.
At university, I asked a girl in the club to go out with me. It seemed to work. Then, I made a mistake. I tried to sleep with another girl in the club.
I was too naive. I knew nothing about girls.
I have another embarrassing episode. When I was a junior high student, I wrote a love letter to a girl. Someone stole it and read it in front of other classmates.
All I had was ideas. I did not see reality. I didn't understand why some girls detest something metaphysical like intellect or idea. They like muscles. They seem to prefer a violent man or a delinquent. Violence scares them. They enjoy being scared. They also like little tenderness, but it has to be mixed with violence, plenty of violence. This is the man to them. It was beyond my comprehension why violent men and street gangs attract some women so much.
(Of course, woman is still a mystery to me. At my age, one can never say he knows what woman is.)
Having asked millions of questions to myself, I came up with an answer. It was Nanpa, picking up girls on the street. Then, a friend from university introduced me my mentor, the real samurai of romance-hunting, Mr K.
"What is Nanpa to me?"
The answer is simple. It is to make love. I try to do it on the first date. If I fail, I forget about the girl and look for another.
I got to think this is the best way. In ordinary circumstances, at work or at school or in the neighbourhood, courting has quite a few steps before you finally make love. You make friends with a girl first, you go out with her, you give her gifts once in a while, and eventually she will reward you with the pleasure in the bed.
Of course, I know everyone is different and each romance is different, too. If you meet someone at work and she finds you attractive, you don't have to follow all these steps and can still sleep with her fairly easily. I suppose that an ordinary man doesn't have to think about those complicated steps and everything goes naturally. Perhaps he meets a girl at work and goes out with her, gets married, and will have a happy family. Most of the men do it one way or another, I guess.
But I was not able to do that. I tried, but I couldn't. If I left things to happen "naturally", I would not be able to make love to anyone unless I pay. That's what I got to realise at one stage. I am that unpopular.
Then, I looked at it from another point of view. "I am unpopular here. I must face it. That is the exact reason why I should seduce a girl somewhere else. I should seek romance on the street!"
When I find a girl attractive at work or at school, my potential rivals are always around her. Plenty of them. Even though she doesn't have a steady, she has many boyfriends-to-be. They take her out every weekend and I have no chance.
On the other hand, when I do the street Nanpa, a good-looking girl might find me attractive enough. Of course, it doesn't happen often, but it happens. I don't know anything about the girl when I speak to her on the street. She may have a boyfriend or two. Or, she can be fooling around with many boys. But, at that moment the girl and I are one against one. It is a duel. There are no rivals. Then I say, "Excuse me, but are you in a hurry?", or something, and make her judge me without prejudice. If she likes me, we move on to another step. If she doesn't, we split. Well, often the latter is the case, but it is fine with me.
Nanpa, romance-hunting on the street, is very important to me. We don't call one night stand a relationship, but without making-love in the bed a relationship cannot start, I guess. If two personalities fit each other, a man and a woman can move on from one night stand to a true relationship, but you have to begin with physical intercourse. Without Nanpa, how could I do!
I haven't seen it yet, but there is an American film called "The 40 year old virgin". I think that a person like me has to go through the same shame and humiliation wherever he is on this planet. In Japan we have a group called "Hi-Mote-ren / the association of non attractive guys". There was "Dame-ren / Hopeless association; hopeless to find a girl", too. Not being capable of meeting a partner, they caricaturised themselves. I didn't find it funny at all. You must not make fun of yourself simply because you can't find a girl. They are lazy in terms of thinking. They just tried to blame the rest of the world for their not being attractive. They got together to console themselves, saying "I am not the only one". I think this creates the vicious circle of hopelessness.
I also despise the ambition with which unattractive men try to be successful and make money, wishing that they would attract girls some day. It is a vain effort to find the reasons of their unattractive nature outside their own personalities. This attitude doesn't help them to solve their fundamental problem. The very men with this ambition often brag, "I am a senior manager of so-and-so company listed in Tokyo Stock Exchange!" and behave as a king on the hill. Well, everyone has his way to live life. The women who marry them, just because they have got money, are wicked. Money and status cover the true nature of love. In this way a man cannot find out what a woman is. Having said that, I am not so sure that I will never ever seek power and money like them. Even so, I think a man should not forget that he is here to serve ladies.
I wrote Nanpa was a means to make love. However, even when I have "hunted" a girl, I do my best to please her in and outside of the bed. Every Nanpa is a different romantic drama. It is like a journey. Everyone has his own impression though they travel together. One hunting and one being hunted have different stories. They go through different dramas. It can be a true love affair. Who knows? Of course it is not just to satisfy male physical needs.
As for practical tactics in Nanpa, my experience as a salesperson is very useful. After I graduated at university, I found a job in a small construction company. I visited strangers without appointments and sold contracts to remodel their house. Then I learned how to "act" in front of potential customers. The important thing was standardising. You say the same thing. You smile the same way. You move your hands the same way. You must repeat the same thing in front of any client. You meet the person possibly only once in your life. Why do you have to show your emotion? When I started selling them, I had a naive sentiment that I wanted a client to understand me, the true me. Eventually I got to learn that it was silly. How can you understand someone in such a short time?
It is the same in love affairs. An ideal love romance develops slowly. A man knocks on the door and a woman invites him in. A little later, they sit together in the living room of her heart. Much later, they move to the kitchen. Far much later and eventually, she truly takes him into her bedroom. It takes time, sometimes, too much time.
It is quite important to skip all these steps both in selling and in romance-hunting. If you want someone to understand you, ask it later. If you take too much time to sell your contract, another salesperson from a bigger company will steal the client. If you court a girl gently and slowly, another man with better smile or more money will take her away.
It is a silly confession, I know. After all, I still believe Nanpa could be love.
(I can't say it is love. It is too divine.)
[Related articles]
・What is Nampa?
・2-shot Chat to hunt romance
・Nampa (romance-seeking) in Asakusa
・The best Nampa (romance-seeking) point in Asakusa
・Tobu Asakusa satation Nampa
・Ueno,the entrance for North Japan
Confession of a Nanpa samurai
Why did I start Nanpa (romance-hunting)?
For what purpose do I smooth talk to a girl on the street?
To answer these, I have to tell you about my life a little. Up until I graduated from university, I had never made love to an ordinary girl, so to speak. My relationship to womanhood was limited in buying girls in "body" shops. I felt ashamed.
At university, I asked a girl in the club to go out with me. It seemed to work. Then, I made a mistake. I tried to sleep with another girl in the club.
I was too naive. I knew nothing about girls.
I have another embarrassing episode. When I was a junior high student, I wrote a love letter to a girl. Someone stole it and read it in front of other classmates.
All I had was ideas. I did not see reality. I didn't understand why some girls detest something metaphysical like intellect or idea. They like muscles. They seem to prefer a violent man or a delinquent. Violence scares them. They enjoy being scared. They also like little tenderness, but it has to be mixed with violence, plenty of violence. This is the man to them. It was beyond my comprehension why violent men and street gangs attract some women so much.
(Of course, woman is still a mystery to me. At my age, one can never say he knows what woman is.)
Having asked millions of questions to myself, I came up with an answer. It was Nanpa, picking up girls on the street. Then, a friend from university introduced me my mentor, the real samurai of romance-hunting, Mr K.
"What is Nanpa to me?"
The answer is simple. It is to make love. I try to do it on the first date. If I fail, I forget about the girl and look for another.
I got to think this is the best way. In ordinary circumstances, at work or at school or in the neighbourhood, courting has quite a few steps before you finally make love. You make friends with a girl first, you go out with her, you give her gifts once in a while, and eventually she will reward you with the pleasure in the bed.
Of course, I know everyone is different and each romance is different, too. If you meet someone at work and she finds you attractive, you don't have to follow all these steps and can still sleep with her fairly easily. I suppose that an ordinary man doesn't have to think about those complicated steps and everything goes naturally. Perhaps he meets a girl at work and goes out with her, gets married, and will have a happy family. Most of the men do it one way or another, I guess.
But I was not able to do that. I tried, but I couldn't. If I left things to happen "naturally", I would not be able to make love to anyone unless I pay. That's what I got to realise at one stage. I am that unpopular.
Then, I looked at it from another point of view. "I am unpopular here. I must face it. That is the exact reason why I should seduce a girl somewhere else. I should seek romance on the street!"
When I find a girl attractive at work or at school, my potential rivals are always around her. Plenty of them. Even though she doesn't have a steady, she has many boyfriends-to-be. They take her out every weekend and I have no chance.
On the other hand, when I do the street Nanpa, a good-looking girl might find me attractive enough. Of course, it doesn't happen often, but it happens. I don't know anything about the girl when I speak to her on the street. She may have a boyfriend or two. Or, she can be fooling around with many boys. But, at that moment the girl and I are one against one. It is a duel. There are no rivals. Then I say, "Excuse me, but are you in a hurry?", or something, and make her judge me without prejudice. If she likes me, we move on to another step. If she doesn't, we split. Well, often the latter is the case, but it is fine with me.
Nanpa, romance-hunting on the street, is very important to me. We don't call one night stand a relationship, but without making-love in the bed a relationship cannot start, I guess. If two personalities fit each other, a man and a woman can move on from one night stand to a true relationship, but you have to begin with physical intercourse. Without Nanpa, how could I do!
I haven't seen it yet, but there is an American film called "The 40 year old virgin". I think that a person like me has to go through the same shame and humiliation wherever he is on this planet. In Japan we have a group called "Hi-Mote-ren / the association of non attractive guys". There was "Dame-ren / Hopeless association; hopeless to find a girl", too. Not being capable of meeting a partner, they caricaturised themselves. I didn't find it funny at all. You must not make fun of yourself simply because you can't find a girl. They are lazy in terms of thinking. They just tried to blame the rest of the world for their not being attractive. They got together to console themselves, saying "I am not the only one". I think this creates the vicious circle of hopelessness.
I also despise the ambition with which unattractive men try to be successful and make money, wishing that they would attract girls some day. It is a vain effort to find the reasons of their unattractive nature outside their own personalities. This attitude doesn't help them to solve their fundamental problem. The very men with this ambition often brag, "I am a senior manager of so-and-so company listed in Tokyo Stock Exchange!" and behave as a king on the hill. Well, everyone has his way to live life. The women who marry them, just because they have got money, are wicked. Money and status cover the true nature of love. In this way a man cannot find out what a woman is. Having said that, I am not so sure that I will never ever seek power and money like them. Even so, I think a man should not forget that he is here to serve ladies.
I wrote Nanpa was a means to make love. However, even when I have "hunted" a girl, I do my best to please her in and outside of the bed. Every Nanpa is a different romantic drama. It is like a journey. Everyone has his own impression though they travel together. One hunting and one being hunted have different stories. They go through different dramas. It can be a true love affair. Who knows? Of course it is not just to satisfy male physical needs.
As for practical tactics in Nanpa, my experience as a salesperson is very useful. After I graduated at university, I found a job in a small construction company. I visited strangers without appointments and sold contracts to remodel their house. Then I learned how to "act" in front of potential customers. The important thing was standardising. You say the same thing. You smile the same way. You move your hands the same way. You must repeat the same thing in front of any client. You meet the person possibly only once in your life. Why do you have to show your emotion? When I started selling them, I had a naive sentiment that I wanted a client to understand me, the true me. Eventually I got to learn that it was silly. How can you understand someone in such a short time?
It is the same in love affairs. An ideal love romance develops slowly. A man knocks on the door and a woman invites him in. A little later, they sit together in the living room of her heart. Much later, they move to the kitchen. Far much later and eventually, she truly takes him into her bedroom. It takes time, sometimes, too much time.
It is quite important to skip all these steps both in selling and in romance-hunting. If you want someone to understand you, ask it later. If you take too much time to sell your contract, another salesperson from a bigger company will steal the client. If you court a girl gently and slowly, another man with better smile or more money will take her away.
It is a silly confession, I know. After all, I still believe Nanpa could be love.
(I can't say it is love. It is too divine.)
[Related articles]
・What is Nampa?
・2-shot Chat to hunt romance
・Nampa (romance-seeking) in Asakusa
・The best Nampa (romance-seeking) point in Asakusa
・Tobu Asakusa satation Nampa
・Ueno,the entrance for North Japan